


It's Okay My Dear (This Is A Circular Story)

by LostyK



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bees, Death, Gen, Remix, Spiders, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29196831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostyK/pseuds/LostyK
Summary: “Excuse me,” Thomas said to the man hanging by chains from the alley wall, “But I seem to have lost the figments of my imagination. Have you seen them?”Thomas' Sides are in the underworld. Time to go rescue them.
Relationships: Thomas Sanders & The Sides
Comments: 5
Kudos: 26
Collections: TSS Fanworks Collective Discord: January Remix Challenge!, Thomas Fucking Dies





	It's Okay My Dear (This Is A Circular Story)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [melliferous](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26674225) by [arealsword](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arealsword/pseuds/arealsword). 
  * In response to a prompt by [arealsword](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arealsword/pseuds/arealsword) in the [tss_fanworks_collective_discord_january_remix_challenge](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tss_fanworks_collective_discord_january_remix_challenge) collection. 



> Remix of Min's fic Melliferous! If you haven't read that one, you should, otherwise this won't make sense. Also, most of the warnings for that fic probably apply to this one.

It’s an old story, one you’ve heard many times before, but never quite like this.

There was once a singer named Thomas, a man with a voice so lovely, it could make the heavens stop and listen to it, could fill you with joy or make you weep, just from the sound of it.

There was no Eurydice for this singer, and if there had been, they would have been a husband, not a wife. But that was not a problem for Thomas, because Thomas was never, ever alone. What’s that saying? Wherever you go, you will always be there? Well, for Thomas, that was quite a thing indeed.

And then, one day, things changed, much the way they always did: with a snake. And oh, Thomas was not afraid of snakes, was familiar with them, in fact, but that didn’t change matters. _This_ snake was very real, I assure you, and it was afraid of Thomas. And so the snake did what scared animals will always do – it bit.

Yes, I _know_ this part is familiar – didn’t I tell you this was an old story? But you’re wrong about what happens next – Thomas is the singer in this story, remember, and so Thomas woke up.

His leg throbbed from where the snake had bit him; blood trickled down his head from where he’d hit it on the curb when he fell, but Thomas barely noticed either of those things. Because, for the first time in the thirty odd years of Thomas’ life, he was completely and utterly alone.

*

“Excuse me,” Thomas said to the man hanging by chains from the alley wall, “But I seem to have lost the figments of my imagination. Have you seen them?”

“Well,” the man said, wincing at the beetles who are currently eating their way through his flesh, “That sounds like quite the problem. I can’t say I’ve seen many people come by, but what do they look like?”

“Uh, well, they’re white, about 5’10” tall, brown hair, brown eyes, identical to me – probably should have lead with that, huh. Oh, except one has a moustache and another is part snake.”

The man in the chains thought back. As he did, a beetle crawled through a hole in his skin and into his abdomen. Thomas watched impassively.

“No,” the man said, “I can’t say I’ve seen anyone like that, sorry. You should check the underworld, though. Plenty of lost things end up down there.”

“The underworld?”

“It’s not far from here. Three streets down, make a right then a left then a left again. Oh, and don’t forget to look down.”

“Right,” Thomas said, nodding. “Thanks. I’ll do that. Hey, do you need any help with that?” Thomas gestured at the man’s abdomen.

“Oh, thank you,” the man said. “That’s very kind of you to offer. But, no, it is what it is. I’ll be right as rain come the morning, you’ll see. Or, well, hopefully you _won’t_ , but you know what I mean.”

“Well, alright then,” Thomas said, and he began to walk away.

“Good luck down there,” the man called. “And word to the wise – don’t eat or drink anything, but oh, you know that already, don’t you?”

*

It took a long time of walking back and forth before Thomas found the manhole cover, and when he did, it was less that he worked it out, and more that he figured it was worth a try. You’ll have to forgive him – the boy was lacking his common sense, after all.

He was _also_ lacking his sense of self-preservation – twice over, in fact – which might be why he didn’t hesitate before descending into the darkness.

The light of the street faded away, until there was just the dim light from the wall left. Thomas might have stopped and wondered about that, another time, but there was nobody with him to theorise, so he kept climbing down.

There was only the careful _clunk_ of Thomas stepping from rung to rung, and a _click-clacking_ sound that grew steadily louder.

“Hello,” Thomas said, to woman in the walls. “I’m looking for the underworld. Is this the right way?”

The woman sighed. “Everyone always is,” she said. “That’s all anyone comes here for – to get to there, it’s never just to stretch their legs, or to pop in for a chat.”

“I’m sorry?” Thomas tried.

The woman just hummed. Spiders skittered curiously towards Thomas, some even crawling across his fingers. Thomas didn’t particularly care – he was quite familiar with spiders, and quite familiar with fear, too, for that matter.

“This is the way,” the woman said. “Straight down to the centre of the earth, then straight across to the edge of it, you can’t miss it. What is it you’re looking for – lover or parent or something else entirely?”

“Something else,” Thomas said. “I’ve lost a part of me – six, in fact – and I’d like to get them back.”

“Head injuries will do that,” the woman said. “Get hit in the wrong place and it’ll knock the personality right out of you. But what do I know?” She cast off, then held up the shimmering fabric. “You might as well take this, I suppose. Not like I’ve got much use for it, and you seem sweet enough.”

Thomas thanked the woman as he took it, and hooked it carefully over his arm. He waited, but the woman went back to her weaving.

“Aren’t you going to give me any warnings?” Thomas asked.

The woman squinted at him with her unblinking eyes. “Why should I?” she asked. “You’ve heard it all before.”

*

Thomas climbed down the rest of the ladder. He crossed the river on the ferry, and walked through the swarm of bees – you don’t need to hear this part, the details may change, but the outcome is always the same – Thomas reached the town, or rather, what passed for the town.

Thomas stared at the people walking past, and began to see a problem with his plan. Up above, his Sides stood out, since they weren’t real. Down here, no one was real.

He began to walk, without deciding where he was going. Some part of him believed he would always find his way to the sides, given enough time.

He found Seph’s bar, after a while, because you couldn’t spend too much time down there _without_ ending up at her door. Inside the bar was packed, every seat taken. There were two workers moving from the bar to the tables, handing out drinks. They didn’t look round when Thomas came in.

The Lady of the bar, though, _she_ noticed Thomas. She raised her glass in greeting – long and tall and filled with a red, shimmering liquid. “’Bout time you got here,” she said. “Come in, sit down, you’ll excuse me if I don’t fetch you a drink.”

“Right,” Thomas said, sliding onto a bar stool – the shade that had been sitting there moved away as soon as he got near. “Probably best you don’t.”

“You’ll be looking for your boys, I suppose,” Seph said.

“I am. Can you help?”

Seph sighed, the sound like the last winds of summer. “You have any idea how many times I’ve heard that before? Course you don’t, I don’t even know. I’ll do what I can, like I always do, but the rest of it, that’s only you.”

“Well, I’ll take what I can get,” Thomas said. “What should I do?”

“How should I know? I don’t know what happened last time, though whatever it was, you should probably try something different. Whatever you do, you should do it fast. Dreams like them don’t belong down here.”

“Then why are they here?” Thomas asked.

“Beats me. Somehow, they ended up down here and you stayed up there. But the way I see it, you play a song enough times, you’re going to hit the wrong notes eventually. You understand?”

“No, not really,” Thomas said.

“No,” Seph said, “I don’t suppose you would.” She hopped off the bar and busied herself with pouring drinks. The two workers came and hovered next to them. “You run off and find your boys. I’ll be there at the end, just like before.”

Thomas stood to go, and then hesitated. Because Seph looked completely absorbed in her work, but she was watching him, Thomas could feel it. It seemed almost as if she was waiting for something.

Thomas looked at the workers standing next to him. They seemed as blankly familiar as everyone else down there, but something made Thomas look again. He felt different, he realised, better than he had since he’d woken up by the side of the road.

Warmth – the kind the came with a hug from his father, the knowledge that someone was with him, that everything would be alright.

And energy – that lightning bolt that comes when you finally figure out how a story is going to go.

“Patton,” Thomas said, voice cracking. “Roman.”

“Is that us?” asked the first one – Patton, Thomas was pretty sure.

“It _sounds_ like us,” the second one mused. “But who are we?”

“Incomplete,” the first one said, sadly. “I feel like we’re – incomplete.”

Thomas shook his head vehemently. He their wrists – Patton’s left, Roman’s right. “You’re not,” he said. “You’re exactly what I need you to be.”

They seemed to be growing more familiar, not that was looking at them. There- the curve of Patton’s smile, the straightness of Roman’s shoulders. How could Thomas ever have _not_ known them?

But they didn’t know him, not yet. They were smiling at him in polite confusion.

Thomas made a frustrated noise. He placed their hands over his own heart. “Here,” he said. “You belong here.”

Patton drew in a long, gasping breath, like a drowning man reaching air. “Thomas,” he said, and then he was throwing himself at Thomas, wrapping his arms around him and burying his head in Thomas’ shoulder.

“You’re here,” Patton mumbled.

“Yeah,” Thomas said, rubbing Patton’s back. “I’m here now, it’s okay.”

Roman had pulled his hand back in time for it to not get crushed by Patton. Now he was staring at it.

“Roman?” Thomas tried, and Roman’s head snapped up to look at him.

“You’re Thomas,” Roman said, and Thomas nodded. “You- you’re _everything_. And I’m your – I’m your-” he trailed off, like he couldn’t quite remember.

“My hero,” Thomas finished. “Roman, you’re _my hero_.”

Roman’s face crumpled. Patton shifted, so he was still clinging to Thomas but now had one arm free.

“Group hug!” Patton announced.

Roman hesitated a moment longer, until Thomas held out one arm, and then he collapsed into the embrace.

They might have stayed like that until the end of time, if Seph hadn’t cleared her throat.

“They really do matter to you, don’t they,” she said, once they drew apart. “Plenty of people would take theirselves for granted, but not you, huh?”

“They’re the most important things in the world to me,” Thomas answered.

Seph whistled. “I can’t decide if that’s sweet or narcissistic, or maybe both,” she said. “Still, you’d best find the others, and fast.”

“Thank you,” Patton said, sincerely, and Seph nodded.

“Before we go,” Roman asked, “If there any advice you can give us?”

Seph considered this. “Reckon you’ve heard all the basics by now. But here: Try to stay away from my wife, for as long as she let’s you.”

“Thank you,” Thomas said. “Uh, goodbye, I guess.”

Seph waved a hand. “See you soon,” she said.

*

As the three of them walked through the town, Thomas asked Roman and Patton what had happened.

“I don’t really remember,” Roman admitted.

“We tried to wait for you,” Patton said, “But we couldn’t.”

Roman snapped his fingers. “Yes! And then we thought maybe you were already here, so we went looking for you.”

“Roman and I went to the bar,” Patton continued. “Seph wouldn’t let us drink anything, but she asked us to help.”

“I don’t remember much after that,” Roman said. “Not until you got here.”

“Do you have any idea where the others are?” Thomas asked.

Roman and Patton both shook their heads.

“We split up,” Patton said. “But I don’t know where everyone else went.”

“We all paired up,” Roman added.

“Well, that makes things easier, at least,” Thomas sighed. They walked in silence.

“By the way,” Roman said after a while. “I can’t help but notice we seem to be going to that terrifying cabin on the hill.”

“Oh yeah,” Thomas said. “I figured we should go towards the landmarks.”

Patton and Roman exchanged a glance.

“It’s just,” Patton said, “That I’m pretty sure that’s where Seph’s wife lives.”

“Oh,” Thomas said. He shrugged. “Well, I’m sure she can’t really be that bad.”

“That’s what _I_ think,” Patton said, “But I feel like you shouldn’t be _agreeing_ with me.” He frowned. “We need someone to tell you not to.”

“I will,” Roman declared. “Thomas, clearly this woman is some kind of villain. You must be willing to fight her for the others.”

“Sure,” Patton muttered. “Why not?”

But when they finally reached the cabin, it seemed quiet. The door was open ajar, as if whoever had last gone through it hadn’t bothered to shut it properly. Patton and Roman exchanged wary glances, but Thomas didn’t hesitate before pushing the door open and stepping inside. Roman, rather put out at the idea that he wasn’t the bravest person around, hurried after Thomas, and Patton trailed behind.

“Hello?” Thomas called, but there was no reply. As they moved through the building, they were able to pick up the faint sound of scraping.

“That’s a lot of honey,” Patton murmured, looking at the walls. “I wonder what she needs it for.”

“I don’t think she can need that much for anything,” Roman said.

In the kitchen, two figures were sat at the table, plates in front of them. This time, it only took Thomas a few seconds to recognise them, and when he did, he surged forwards. He grabbed the arm of the one nearest him, stopping their fork from reaching their mouth.

Virgil shuddered at the touch. “Thomas?” he gasped, and then he looked down at the plate. “Fuck, that- I probably fucked up.”

“We can deal with it,” Thomas said. He stroked Virgil’s hair once, and then moved onto the other figure.

Remus was watching him, eyes bright, and Thomas pressed a hand against his cheek.

“Careful,” Remus said, though his voice was unusually strained. “You don’t know where I’ve been.”

“Gross,” Thomas muttered. He dropped his hand but stayed close to the two of them, resting his hands on a shoulder each, as if he’d be able to absorb them back into him through his skin.

Virgil twisted around in his chair and grabbed hold of Thomas’ arm. “It’s you. You’re here.”

“Yeah, Virge,” Thomas said. “I’m here.”

Roman and Patton had come into the room behind him and stood close by. Virgil stood up suddenly, his chair scraping back behind him, and flung his arms around Thomas. He clung to him tightly, as if letting go would mean something awful would happen.

“Virgil,” Thomas said, gently, “I need to breathe.”

“Shut up, no you don’t,” Virgil muttered, but he did loosen his grip slightly.

Someone else wrapped their arms around him from behind, and Thomas jumped before he realised it was only Remus. He sighed and glanced at Patton and Roman for help, except Patton looked delighted and Roman just shrugged.

Thomas resigned himself to being crushed. It wasn’t a hard thing to come to terms with.

Eventually, though, Thomas had to pry the other two off him. “We still need to find the others,” he said.

“Fuck, you’re right,” Virgil muttered, pulling back.

They set out again, and no one tried to stop them. Along the way back down the hill, Thomas told them how he’d gotten there, and Roman and Patton explained their meeting with Seph.

“We met Hades,” Remus said. “She told us we can’t leave.”

“Yeah, fuck that,” Thomas snapped, and the others glanced at him in surprise at his language. “I’m not about to just _leave you here_.”

“Maybe you should,” Virgil said. His shoulders tightened when everyone looked at him. “Look, Hades knows about us, but she might not know about _Thomas_ yet. If he can just leave-”

“Well, that’s no fun,” Roman mutters.

“Would you rather he get stuck here because of us?” Virgil asked.

No one had an answer to that – they all knew what the truth was.

“No one is getting stuck here,” Thomas said firmly. “We’ll figure something out once we find the others.”

“Not to be a downer except, you know, I _am_ ,” Virgil said, “But does anyone have any idea where they went?”

“Well, we could always ask for help,” Patton said, slightly too cheerfully for a place like this.

No one could come up with a better idea, so they began to ask everyone they passed. It took a while, and an awful lot of groans and screams, but eventually they were pointed towards a fence.

“You know,” Patton said as they went, “I’m not sure I like this place. And I’m not sure I like anyone who runs this place, either.”

There was nothing much to say to that, so Thomas just took Patton’s hand and squeezed it.

Remus wandered over to the gate in the fence, and pushed against it. It opened easily, the hinges didn’t even squeak.

“That’s strange,” Thomas muttered.

“Is it?” Roman asked.

Thomas walked over to Remus, and stopped just on the threshold. “I didn’t come this way last time,” he said.

His Sides exchanged glances. “Last time?” Virgil asked.

Thomas walked forwards. It was as if he was in a daze, but he still knew his name, could still feel the others besides him. If this was a spell, it was one of his own making.

The garden was beautiful, like it always is; overgrown and wild and _alive_. And in the middle, two people are dancing, caught up in each other so completely that they didn’t seem to notice that they weren’t alone.

And they weren’t alone – two rather familiar people were there, too.

“There you are,” Janus said, walking over to Thomas and the others. He was making an attempt to stay composed, but the pitch of his voice was too high to be mistake for anything but relief. “Do you have any idea how long we’ve been looking for you?”

Logan just surged forwards and wrapped his arms around Thomas. Thomas staggered back, but caught himself, laughing.

“It’s- it’s really good to see you guys again.”

Janus joined the hug, and then everyone else was there, and they were all clinging to each other and laughing and crying.

“I think,” Patton said when they finally pull apart, “It’s time for us to go.”

And, well, what was there to say about that? Except a lot, as it turned out, because when the group began to walk towards the gate, someone behind them cleared their throat.

The two dancers had stopped now, and were watching them. Neither moved, though the wings of one was ready to take flight. From within the plants, the buzzing sound that had followed them all throughout this place grew.

“Isn’t there someone you should ask?” Hades said.

“I don’t see why we _should_ ,” Janus said. “Thomas isn’t dead, and we were never alive to begin with.”

Thomas didn’t seem to hear him; he was looking straight at Seph.

“The gates open,” he said.

“It is,” Speh agreed. “A small change, but sometimes those are enough.”

“Will it be enough this time?” Thomas asked.

Seph smiled sadly. “Now that I don’t know.”

Thomas turned to Hades. “Me in front, right? And them behind. That’s how it goes, this time.”

Hades nodded slowly.

“Thomas?” Patton asked quietly, “What’s going on?”

Thomas turned slowly, and his eyes were shining with tears. “Do you remember that time we went into the woods? And we found all those berries in a fairy ring?”

“Uh, actually,” Roman said, frowning. “I don’t think that’s happened yet.”

“Right,” Thomas said, shaking his head. “Sorry.”

Thomas reached out a hand, and Janus took it. Patton took Janus’, and Logan took Patton’s, then the twins, and Virgil closed the loop, one hand in Remus’, one hand in Thomas’.

Thomas didn’t look over at the gods behind him, he kept his eyes on his Sides, on the six beings he loved the most, drinking in the sight of him whilst they still could.

“Okay,” Thomas said to Hades. “Tell me it again?”

And, well, you know how these things go. And Thomas might have gone to the ends of the Earth for his Sides – and they would have done the same – but in the end, they always look back.

Or maybe he didn’t. After all, a deal’s not a deal if there’s no chance of keeping it.

But that’s enough for now. Tomorrow, we can sing it again.


End file.
